Monthly Archives: November 2007

Golda Meir:
At work, you think of the children you have left at home. At home, you think of the work you’ve left unfinished. Such a struggle is unleashed within yourself. Your heart is rent.

Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis:
If you bungle raising your children, I don’t think whatever else you do well matters very much.

I’m never quite sure of where I should be, of what I should be doing. If I’m doing this, then I am neglecting that. Housework, toddler, teenager, husband, work… I think it’s all becoming too much. Motherhood is such a ferocious battle of work left undone, of things unfinished, of love unspoken, of things unsaid. I guess the only way out is to think of what is done. Make a list of what is actually accomplished instead of what is not. I need to remember this as we are getting ready for Christmas and the work load increases in every aspect. Deadlines and parties at work. Excited, hyper children. Presents to buy and wrap. Cookies to bake. Family to visit with. Friends to meet with. I’m ready for a nap! For an occassion that is supposed to be so “happy”, it sure is exhausting! Continue reading →

Okay, I stumbled across this article entitled the 25 Most baffling toys from around the world http://www.cracked.com/article_15670_25-most-baffling-toys-from-around-world.html.
It’s the most hysterical, nonsensical list of toys you’ve ever seen. They’ve got stuffed poop and pee, exploding toliets (as pictured here), a toy stripper pole (for those worried their little ones aren’t becoming contaminated enough by the media and society), a fish set that seems to teach how to gut and debone a fish, and lots of other “toys” that make no sense at all to me. One of the funniest things I have ever seen in my life. Definitely worth a peek. Really makes you wonder about cultural differences… Continue reading →

From www.oddee.com

A theory of everything (ToE) is a hypothetical theory of theoretical physics that fully explains and links together all known physical phenomena. There have been numerous theories of everything proposed by theoretical physicists over the last century, but as yet none has been able to stand up to experimental scrutiny, there being tremendous difficulty in getting the theories to produce experimentally testable results. So here are the top 4 most important Theories of Everything nowdays:

#1 Superstring theory: “Everything comes from excited strings”

Think of a guitar string that has been tuned by stretching the string under tension across the guitar. Depending on how the string is plucked and how much tension is in the string, different musical notes will be created by the string. These musical notes could be said to be excitation modes of that guitar string under tension.

In a similar manner, in string theory, the elementary particles we observe in particle accelerators could be thought of as the “musical notes” or excitation modes of elementary strings.

In string theory, as in guitar playing, the string must be stretched under tension in order to become excited. However, the strings in string theory are floating in spacetime, they aren’t tied down to a guitar. Nonetheless, they have tension. The string tension in string theory is denoted by the quantity 1/(2 p a’), where a’ is pronounced “alpha prime” and is equal to the square of the string length scale.

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Well, I coulndn’t pass this up.  According to a MSNBC report:

I for one think that it is time that the Flying Spaghetti Monster gets
the credit that he deserves!

Sadly, the Pastafarianism web site seems to have gone the way of the
pirate and is not currently operating, but I have included links in
case it is revived.

For those of you unsure of what Pastafariansim is,
it is described as the worlds fastest carbohydrate based
religion.  Created generally to just make fun of a lot of the
arguments between science, religion and school boards, it suggests a
number of things varying from the fact that the world was created by
the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and that global warming is directly
related to the decrease in pirates world wide (there is a graph which
is quite compelling!).  There is a bunch more, but it all gets
a bit fuzzy…  I think some of it involves a midget and a
volcano…  Sorry, but I really don’t remember….

For more information read “The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster”

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When I was changing Emmy’s diaper this morning, the phone rang. I ran to answer it, naked child in my arms. I chatted for a while with my pregnant sick friend on the cordless while I put on Emma’s diaper and shirt. When the call ended, I went to have a shower. I closed the bedroom door and jumped in the shower with Emma in the bathroom. When I started putting the shampoo on my head, Emma ripped off her diaper and ran out of the bathroom, shutting the door behind her! What do you do? Do you run out of the shower dripping wet with shampoo flying everywhere or do you just finish your shower quickly and calmly, hoping for the best? I opted for choice B, knowing that would probably be the only chance at a shower today. Luckily, she was still dry when I got out and our bedroom looked relatively unscathed. Or at least poop/pee free, thank goodness! If we could only get that girl to keep her clothes on. I wonder what tomorrow’s dilemma will be… Continue reading →

Maharishi Phucknuckel’s Guide to Zen

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either, just fuck off and leave me alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tire.

3. The darkest hours come just before the dawn. So if you’re going to steal your neighbour’s milk and newspaper, that’s the time to do it.

4. Sex is like air. It only becomes really important when you aren’t getting any.

5. Don’t aspire to become irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.

6. Remember, no one is listening until you fart.

7. Never forget that you are unique, like everyone else.

8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

9. If you think nobody cares whether you’re dead or alive, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.

10. Before you judge someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you judge them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.

11. If at first you don’t suceed, avoid skydiving (MARK!).

12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

13. Have you ever lent someone a 20 and never seen that person again? It was probably worth it.

14. If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.

15. Some days we are the flies, some days we are the windscreens.

16. Don’t worry, it only seems kinky the first time.

17. Good judgement comes from experience, experience comes from bad judgement.

18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

19. A closed mouth gathers no feet.

20. There are two theories about how to win an argument with a woman. Neither one works.

21. Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much if your lips are moving.

22. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Continue reading →