I remember one of the Dads at our childbirth education class asking the teacher how we’d make sure we got the right baby back if we put them all down in a line to take pictures of! Once the babies came and we lined them up to take this shot, I think that new and tired Daddy finally realized that baby’s are all completely different from one another. Mine’s the one in the red shoes. That way I’d recognize her — lol!
Just as babies are all different from each other, so are their births. No two births are the same, even for the same mother. I’ve had my children 12 years apart from each other. The first birth was nearly completely natural. The only interference I allowed the doctors was some laughing gas to help me relax and finish dilating. The second birth was full of interventions. I was put on pitocin to help induce labor, my water was broken and eventually after many hours, I had an epidural. The birthing process for my second child was very hard and did not live up to my expectations of having a natural childbirth like my first labor and delivery experience.
It’s important to keep your options open when you are pregnant so that you do not feel disappointed and disillusioned about birth once your new baby finally arrives. Realize that every birth is different so comparing them is only as valuable as comparing apples and oranges to one another. There are some similarities but some glaring and obvious differences as well.
If I get to experience another live labor and childbirth myself, I hope to have the birth be as natural as possible with as little medical interference as necessary. Women have been having babies for as long as there has been babies. We are capable of doing it regardless of how your doctor or hospital may make you feel. I personally am a little worried about home births or any births without a doctor because an emergency situation may arise. Women have been having babies for thousands of years but they’ve also been dying during the process for just as long! On the other hand, the amount of interventions during births in the western world are astounding. The C-section rate, number of epidurals and amount of drugs pumped into birthing women are especially concerning.
The one really important thing to remember is to make sure that you have a doctor and support people who understand your needs and opinions. Many doctors let their own opinions and feelings get in the way of providing proper health care during labor and delivery. This is where your support people need to be able to step in and advocate for you as you may not be able to. Midwives and doulas are great to have for support throughout the entire pregnancy and, in my opinion, crucial during labor and delivery. They can help you come up with a birth plan before the big day that will set out your goals in the best case scenario as well as alternatives you can feel comfortable with if things get too tough.
I’d highly recommend reading up about the different methods of natural childbirth (or as natural as possible childbirth). This link has a ton of great information about doulas, midwives, aromatherapy for delivery, flower essence therapy for delivery, hypotherapy, accupuncture, homeopathy, childbirth educators, etc. etc. They have many great articles about the huge range of options available for births and an online forum to ask questions that you can’t find the answers to. They cover a lot of topics that I’ve never even heard of and explain things from both the doctor and patient angles. Definitely a website to check out even if you are not planning a natural childbirth.
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btw… infertility is not always a women’s issue, quite a few men are also diagnosed with below average sperm counts (like in my case – it was my husband) that categorise them as infertile but fortunately we were lucky enough to treat it and have have kids…